The Power of Family (second draft)

Melanie Freitas

English 101: College Writing

9-18-11

The Power of Family

            The strength of family helps me out day to day. My family means the world to me, if it wasn’t for them I don’t know what I would do or who I would be. Family to me is a word filled with many meanings. It means strength, peace, happiness, and unity. I believe having a family whom you can talk to and be yourself with is a true treasure in life. Family helps me forget all the bad and brings out all the good. Because family is everything to me, I believe strongly in the power of family.

Family gives me strength anytime that I am looking for comfort. If I have a problem, they are always there to help me and stand by me when I need them. They always have the right thing to say to help me think positively and to think that everything will be fine. When my maternal grandfather passed away five years ago, as a family, we supported each other and went through this difficult time together. The day that we received the news, my parents took the earliest flight to Portugal. My father’s family took care of and supported my sister and I while my parents were away. They comforted us and made sure that we were not left alone.

Coming together in holidays or on random celebrations helps me forget about the rest of the world. I feel at peace when my family and I get together and enjoy each other’s company. Though, like many other families, we have our little disagreements, we never let little things get in the way of us because we know that family will always be family. We always resolve our issues peacefully which gives an atmosphere of tranquility.

 While in this tranquil state, my family shares a breath of happiness. Weddings, birthdays, births, and other festivities are a time to turn up our happy meter. Happiness can be felt through the stories of our Portuguese roots, exchange of memories, and constant laughter. Tears fill our eyes not from sadness but from joy. This happiness alleviates any pain and helps you feel better at the end of the day.

Together as one is another way to describe the power of family. Though most of my family is overseas, we manage to stay close and keep our traditions alive. We are constantly calling each other and visiting each other to see how life is going. We are united by one culture, one love, and one heart. This unity plays a strong role in my life and the way I am. I love being close to my family and having gatherings that bond us closer together.

            Like glue, my family will always be joined.  Through thick and thin we will always be a family filled with strength, peace, and happiness. No matter if we are millions of miles away, we are still a family. Friends can come and go but family is forever. I believe in the power of family; I believe that family is power.

Post Write:

·         I feel my belief is stated very clearly. I stated multiple times that I believe in the power of family and gave different examples on how they are so important to me. I extended the story of when my grandfather passed away to support my belief.

·         I could still extend the story of my grandfather passing away but at the end, the essay will not be in the proper length requirements.

·         1) I give multiple examples of how my family is the world to me. Should I have just focused on the story of my grandfather passing away to support my belief?

2) Is there one part of the essay I should have eliminated?

The Power of Family

          The strength of family helps me out day to day. My family means the world to me, if it wasn’t for them I don’t know what I would do or who I would be. Family to me is a word filled with many meanings. It means strength, peace, happiness, and unity. I believe having a family whom you can talk to and be yourself with is a true treasure in life. Family helps me forget all the bad and brings out all the good. Because family is everything to me, I believe strongly in the power of family.

Family gives me strength anytime that I am looking for comfort. If I have a problem, they are always there to help me and stand by me when I need them. They always have the right thing to say to help me think positively and to think that everything will be fine. When my grandfather passed away five years ago, as a family, we supported each other and went through this difficult time together.

Coming together in holidays or on random celebrations helps me forget about the rest of the world. I feel at peace when my family and I get together and enjoy each other’s company. Though, like many other families, we have our little arguments, we never hold a grudge because we know that family will always be family. We always resolve our issues peacefully which gives an atmosphere of tranquility.

 While in this tranquil state, my family shares a breath of happiness. Weddings, birthdays, births, and other festivities are a time to turn up our happy meter. Happiness can be felt through the stories of our roots, exchange of memories, and constant laughter. Tears fill our eyes not from sadness but from joy. This happiness alleviates any pain and helps you feel better at the end of the day.

Together as one is another way to describe the power of family. Though most of my family is overseas, we manage to stay close and keep our traditions alive. We are united by one culture, one love, and one heart. This unity plays a strong role in my life and the way I am. I love being close to my family and having gatherings that bond us closer together.

            Like glue, my family will always be joined.  Through thick and thin we will always be a family filled with strength, peace, and happiness. No matter if we are millions miles away, we are still a family. Friends can come and go but family is forever. I believe in the power of family; I believe that family is power.

           

            Post Write:

- I believe that I stated my point on this topic. I repeated a couple of times of how I believe in the power of family. I also wrote examples of how important family is to me.

- The remains that still need to be done is I could be very specific on the examples of how family is power, maybe I could focus on one event that made me believe family is power.

- Questions to ask readers: Is this essay easy to understand the main idea?

Did my ideas flow smoothly?

Use of technology in schools and colleges

Technology now a day is very beneficial for students attending school and college. New forms of technology are being developed every year to help people with everyday tasks.  These new devises like the smart phone, mp3, and electronic reader allow us to transport light weight and small sized materials without a hassle. Today we would not be able to function without the use of technology. One topic that is brought up frequently is if school and college should adopt technology? Some people strong believe that technology should be adopted while others disagree.

                The use of technology in schools and in colleges would get students more involved in school work.  They would be able to access any information at any location. Many students access school related information through the internet rather than going to the library, it is convenient and fast. Some schools believe that there is no need for traditional libraries, books take up space and there is not a lot of room on campus to store them. Schools that are purchasing electronic readers in the replacement of books would enable students to have access to millions of books. Students would be able to gather information in seconds instead of waiting to see if a book is available at the library. Students having access to technology would allow them to gather the latest information that is given all over the world.

                Many schools all over the country are setting a budget to buy forms of technology that would be useful to students in school. In purchasing in new technology, students would not injure their backs for carrying heavy books. They would be able to use an electronic reader and have all their subject textbooks in one. These new forms of technology would be environmentally friendly, students would not be able to destroy books and fewer trees would be knocked down. The new devises created would allow students to access everything in one gadget.

                Some people believe that technology would bring a downside to schools and colleges. Allowing students to have access to technology could distract them in the learning process. Students would not accomplish school related work, having a devise in their hands at any time. Some parents fear that allowing schools to adopt technology would teach the basic skills students should know in school like math and writing. Students could have any devise in their possession and ignore what is being taught. If schools adopt technology, how much would it cost, would these devices be durable for students to use?